In place of a full update, I thought I'd pass on a quick post I made to the Usenet group alt.wedding regarding planning our wedding. The most important piece of advice I can give you is to stop every once in a while, stand back and look at the big picture. It's far too It is inevitable, however, that when you do step back and look at the big picture, you will start to become overwhelmed by exactly how much there is to plan and to do, all of which will have to be ready to happen within a couple of hours on one single day months from now. It's tempting to say "it's all too much!" but I suggest looking at it this way: Walking 1000 kilometres is not something you would want to do all in one day, but if you break it up over a year it's less than 84 kilometres a month, or 19 kilometres a week, or just over 2.6 kilometres a day. Now you can walk 2.6 kilometres in a day, can't you? Do the same with your wedding. Spread the tasks out over as long a period of time as you can, so that you only have to deal with a small portion of it at any one time. Remember to leave enough time in your wedding preparation to contemplate the important stuff like the vows. They are your promise
Firstly, I was at the Church, setting things up as the guests started arriving! There I was, done up in my dress and setting up pew bows! So I rushed out to the car (a really nice white stretch limo - which we *aren't* having!) and got into the back. My Uncle (who is giving me away) wouldn't sit in the back, so he sat in the front and started telling me how proud all the family were that I was marrying Ian. Ian? Yes, Ian Thorpe (the famous Australian swimmer). So in my head I'm there trying to figure out how to go on seeing Rob behind Ian's back because it just *had* to be a sham marriage! Finally we arrive back at the Church, only it isn't the Church we are to be married in, it's another one from my childhood. And we have to walk down about 20 flights of stairs to get to it (there are no stairs at this old church). It's about now I come to the realisation that this is in fact a dream, so I start taking note of the things that go wrong to learn from my "mistakes". We arrive at the front of the Church and my sister (also my Maid of Honour) gives me a Unity Candle and it's *hideous* (this just wouldn't be so because my sister is very crafty and would make a wonderful Unity Candle, I'm sure). Then my flower girl goes to walk down the aisle and she's in red and white - not gold as I intended! My mind harks back to everyone saying that ivory and white don't go together! So everyone is about to walk down the aisle and then the guy looking after the music says he's forgotten the CD and just pops in one he has there and everyone is walking down the aisle to "Love Is In The Air" by John Paul Young! I take about two steps out and then realise that I don't have my bouquet! I get to where the florist is sitting (she's also a friend) and she's still putting it together! I get it from her and continue on - down the wrong aisle!!!! So we walk all around this Church (it goes through about two full songs) and then finally I get to the front of the Chruch. And there is Rob. Done up exactly as I had imagined him. The bridesmaids move apart and and he looks up and straight at me - and the smile on his face, the love he shows me takes away all the distress of only moments ago. That is when I realise that no matter what happens on the Wedding day, no matter how much goes wrong, I'll still be getting married to the man I love and that's what is most important!
Very little to actually organise now. Got to go put the deposit on the rings and also organise the headpiece. Other than that everything is well on the way. Cannot believe that it's all so close. There just doesn't seem to be enough time! Rob is being wonderful, but we just seem to be getting bogged down in the daily grind rather than enjoying getting ready to be married. We received our first two presents last week - Personalised stamps from Rob's Aunt and Uncle (to use on the invitations) and some cash from wonderful lifetime friends of mine (they know that we are paying for the wedding ourselves). Both were really appreciated! Now I just have to get to it and write those ever-so-important thank you notes! Ahh well, lots to do must go.
Lots has happened (what's new). I've had my first actual dress fitting (well, it was the lining really) and I'm *so* sure that I'll look all frumpy and horrible on the day! I'm sure the *dress* will be beautiful, but I won't! We booked the photographer yesterday as well, so that's all organised. Only the cake and rings to go now then it's all done! Well, all the deposits are paid anyway. Still the bulk of the money to come :( A great friend of mine, Joanne Jacobs, has offered to do our makeup for us and refuses to take any money for it! **Huggles** to you jj! Now I've started the great Wedding tradition of have pre-wedding nightmares! Urrggghhhh! Pretty much every night I either dream about something going wrong with the Wedding (the bridesmaids deciding on the day that they want to wear bright green dresses or everyone wanting to make a speech) or pre-wedding things like losing my Engagement ring! Apparently they stop after the Wedding, but that's still eight weeks away! Fifty-six more Wedding nightmares! When I mentioned this to Rob "I can't believe I might have these nighmares every night", he replied with "No, of course not dear. You won't sleep *every* night" :)
Yesterday we found the cake decorators - Marle's Cake Shop in Margate on the Redcliffe Peninsula just north of Brisbane. They are doing the cake about $150 cheaper than anywhere else we've been to and they are *really* good. I've been buying cakes there for years. I have to delay my dress fitting for next Tuesday because I still don't have the underwear together and he needs that for the first fitting. I can't find anything I'm really happy with in that department and I really thought I'd have a lot more time to think about it than this! Spoke to the mother of our flower girl this morning and now I'm trying to organise the making of the dress for her. It's going to be gold with an ivory lace petticoat that matches my dress. Going to cost a lot more than I anticipated, I think :( Ahh well all part of getting married I suppose. Now we must get things together with the invitations. I'm still dabbling with the wording, and the font, and the style, and the guest list and the ...... oh wow aren't anywhere *near* getting them done and we only have three weeks to get them out! We are giving the photo to Rob's Aunt tommorow to get the stamps done, so that's another job out of the way. Now we have to get the wording right, the invites printed then addressed, stamped and sent. All in just 21 days. Yesterday we won tickets to the Bridal Expo this weekend. Although we've basically decided on everything it'll still be nice to see other ideas. But we have such a busy weekend ahead of us so I'm not sure we'll be even able to go :( I'm warming to the idea of the Wedding. It's not that I don't want to get married, just the opposite, but I just don't want the whole "day". It just seems like a whole heap of money for a big celebration that lasts one day. Oh, don't get me wrong, I want all my family, friends and the milkman's aunt's next door neighbour's butcher to see me marry the man I love! But the cost, both financially and emotionally, is *so* high! This Wedding has been much more a drain on my emotions than I ever could have imagined. The worry, the planning, the lack of sleep is all combining to make this less than the great experience I had expected. But I won't back out, no way, no how! In a mere 79 days I shall be marrying Robert Alexander Whyte at Northgate Uniting Church. For better or worse.
I feel that Vicki has so much more to do for this wedding than I do. My total pre-wedding suit fitting took 30 minutes, and that's all I have to do for three months. I turn up the day before the wedding, pick up my suit and throw it on on the next morning. She has had almost an hour with the designer now without so much as a single stitch being sewn and there will be fortnightly fitting for the next three months to get her dress finished by the wedding day. I will try and support her as much as possible, but in the back of my mind there will always be that little voice saying... "Thank GOD that isn't me!" (:
We went on Saturday to the Gold Coast to get my first fitting for my dress. Yes, my dream dress is going to happen! The designer is Leonard Derecourt and it's going to be just beautiful. I'll be putting up the details of the dress in the next couple of days. Sunday we visited my Nan in Toowoomba. She is so pleased about the marriage. She is very ill and we're not even sure how much longer she will live, but I would love for her to come down for the wedding. It looks unlikely though. It would certainly make the day that much more special if she could be there. We are going today to put the deposit down on the bridesmaids dresses. And then on Thursday we are meeting with the photographer to discuss details and put a deposit down there. It's all happening so quickly now!
It's happening. It's *really* happening! Today we purchased the paper for the invitations - including the ceremony invitations, family celebration, friend's dinner and rehearsal dinner. Yes, four *different* kinds of paper for one Wedding! And this is a Wedding that isn't even going to have a reception - well not a traditional sort of reception anyway. Due to financial restraints, we are now having the ceremony, going to Rob's parent's house to cut the cake with family and the Bridal party only, then we are going out to dinner (dutch style) with any friends that are able. It's not exactly our dream wedding, but who knows? We might win lotto between now and then :) We felt it was more important to have things like a good photographer, nice clothes and rings that will last forever than a reception to die for. I think people remember those things more than what they ate anyway :) Tommorow I go to get measured up for my dress. Yes, the biggest single expense of the day. But worth it, we think. Ohhhh this Wedding business is *so* tiring!
I do agree with her about disliking the very personal questions. I had to stop myself from self-censoring a couple of times and remind myself that no-one else would see the answers, so I should be completely honest. The money thing has been hanging over our heads for the last couple of months and it's SOOOOOO good to finally have it sorted out. Now we can start the real business of ordering everything we need to get this wedding sorted.
I *hated* answering all those questions! It was just terrible! Rob and I have such completely different backgrounds when it comes to family as well - and that's sure to influence the results. I walked away wondering if it will come back saying "there's no way you should get married - get out while you still can!". The thing is, that Rob's Mum is the one who is marrying us. She is a Uniting Church Minister and I love the fact that she is going to perform the ceremony. But I do feel a tad uncomfortable that she will see all the results of this questionaire. Don't get me wrong, I don't think she would use it against me/us or anything like that - but there were some *very* personal questions that we answered last night. Things you wouldn't normally discuss with your future mother-in-law that's for sure! We also sorted out the money thing. That has been a major problem so far but we seem to have it under control now. I hate the thought of spending so much money for just one day, but on the other hand I want a wonderful wedding! Catch-22 .........
I can hardly believe that it's only 96 days to go! Can it really have snuck up on us that quickly? We've made loads of decisions but very few bookings at this stage. We know what we want now all we have to do is pay for it :( Rob and I will try to keep you up to date as the weeks go by of what we are doing and where we are going. It's certainly an exciting time, but also very stressful. Keep checking back for more installments, and have a look around while you are here at the rest of our Engagement and Wedding site!
Tuesday, September 11, 2001
Oh Vicki, you're *TERRIBLE*! (:
easy to get caught up in the minutiae of your flowers, cake, dresses, suits, music, decorations, cars, rings, food, drink, venues, celebrant, friends and family and ignore the actual point of the day, which is to pledge to spend the rest of your life with the one you
love.
to each other (and to God or some other higher power in the case of a religious wedding) that you want to spend the rest of your life
loving, serving and pleasing (and being loved, served and pleased by) the person standing next to you. Everything else is negotiable, but the promise is what the day is all about.
posted by Robert Whyte 7:21:37 PM
Well, I had the nightmare to end all nightmares last night. I think every single thing that possibly *could* go wrong at the Wedding, went wrong!
posted by Vicki Cleaver 4:45:50 PM
Thursday, September 06, 2001
Life is getting tougher and tougher as the Wedding approaches. Looks like now I'll have to move house - with only a little over seven weeks to go! But I guess it's all part of life!
posted by Vicki Cleaver 8:06:48 PM
Friday, August 31, 2001
Well, it's been three weeks since I did an entry here so I ought to do one NOW!
posted by Vicki Cleaver 4:19:13 PM
Friday, August 10, 2001
Things are getting faster and faster yet going so slowly at the same time!
posted by Vicki Cleaver 12:09:46 PM
Tuesday, July 31, 2001
We've now finalised the design and wording for the invitations and will be sending them out sometime in the next month. On the envelopes will be our first wedding present (from my aunt and uncle). They're giving us personalised stamps featuring a picture of us from our engagement party.
posted by Robert Whyte 9:38:45 PM
What a busy weekend!
posted by Vicki Cleaver 8:45:22 AM
Friday, July 27, 2001
Wow.
posted by Vicki Cleaver 10:32:34 PM
Wednesday, July 25, 2001
Vicki worries far too much about... well... just about everything. (: For a start, my mother isn't going to see the answers to our questionaires, she will only get a list of areas where we agree and disagree in our responses. I also believe, from discussion with Vicki over our answers last night, that there are going to be very few areas where we aren't in complete agreement. Regardless of our different family backgrounds, we have almost the same view on just about everything we discuss.
posted by Robert Whyte 11:36:17 AM
Well, it's been an action packed 24 hours that's for sure! Rob and I had our first pre-marital counselling session last night. We completed the Notice of Intention to Marry forms and did a questionaire that will help us to identify our problem areas and what we need to work on both before and during the marriage.
posted by Vicki Cleaver 8:13:44 AM
Tuesday, July 24, 2001
Welcome to our blogger. This is to celebrate the Wedding of Vicki Cleaver and Robert Whyte. We are getting married on October 27th, 2001 at Northgate Uniting Church, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia.
posted by Vicki Cleaver 3:45:16 PM
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